Lenten Meditation #JourneyLent

Linda Miller Raff

Out of the depths have I cried unto Thee, O Lord.

Out of the onyx abyss

with its eyes locked on mine,

unwavering and unforgiving.

De profundis clamavi ad te Domine.

Out of the breast-beating injustices

not suffered by others it seems

but me only me always me,

alone and indignant.

De profundis clamavi ad te Domine.

Out of the paralyzing grief

that nails me to the floor

of the past,

unrequited and unrelenting.

De profundis clamavi ad te Domine.

Out of the feverish ingratitude

for every good thing

for all good things

given preciously,

received callously

and without heartache.

De profundis clamavi ad te Domine.

Out of these depths, and so many others, O Lord, I cry to you

in strangled language or mute rage,

not in the beautifully carved words of Scripture.

6 I spread out my hands to you;
     I thirst for you like a parched land.

7 Answer me quickly, Lord;
    my spirit fails.
Do not hide your face from me
    or I will be like those who go down to the pit.

I wonder sometimes if you hear me

see me

know me.

I wonder like King David, like Jeremiah and Job,

like a baffled and afflicted person,

I wonder

where you are.

1 Hear my prayer, Lord;
    let my cry for help come to you.
2 Do not hide your face from me
    when I am in distress.
Turn your ear to me;
    when I call, answer me quickly.

Sometimes my faith, Lord,

sometimes it blows hard in the wind

or completely disappears

like the grasses and flowers

that are gone and known no more.

The deep

then swallows me whole.

De profundis clamavi ad te Domine.

I have trouble remembering

that you and you alone

are the truth, the way,

and the light.

Lux aeterna. Lux perpetua.

Help me rest truly deeply

rest

in the truth of your presence, Lord.

Help me live out the pardon and grace

and hope

and love

that was beaten and nailed to a cross.

Help me now and forever

crawl through

all the endings

all the thorns and spears

all the doubt and darkness

all the self-centered lamentations

out of the depths

de profundis

and toward the light

of resurrection.

8 Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
     for I have put my trust in you.

Psalm 102, Psalm 130, Psalm 143

Linda Miller Raff

© 3.17.2015