Thursday, April 2, 2015

Linda Miller Raff

Out of the depths have I cried unto Thee, O Lord.
Out of the onyx abyss
with its eyes locked on mine,
unwavering and unforgiving.
De profundis clamavi ad te Domine.
Out of the breast-beating injustices
not suffered by others it seems
but me only me always me,
alone and indignant.
De profundis clamavi ad te Domine.
Out of the paralyzing grief
that nails me to the floor
of the past,
unrequited and unrelenting.
De profundis clamavi ad te Domine.
Out of the feverish ingratitude
for every good thing
for all good things
given preciously,
received callously
and without heartache.
De profundis clamavi ad te Domine.
Out of these depths, and so many others, O Lord, I cry to you
in strangled language or mute rage,
not in the beautifully carved words of Scripture.
6 I spread out my hands to you;
     I thirst for you like a parched land.
7 Answer me quickly, Lord;
my spirit fails.
Do not hide your face from me
    or I will be like those who go down to the pit.
I wonder sometimes if you hear me
see me
know me.
I wonder like King David, like Jeremiah and Job,
like a baffled and afflicted person,
I wonder
where you are.
1 Hear my prayer, Lord;
    let my cry for help come to you.
2 Do not hide your face from me
    when I am in distress.
Turn your ear to me;
    when I call, answer me quickly.
Sometimes my faith, Lord,
sometimes it blows hard in the wind
or completely disappears
like the grasses and flowers
that are gone and known no more.
The deep
then swallows me whole.
De profundis clamavi ad te Domine.
I have trouble remembering
that you and you alone
are the truth, the way,
and the light.
Lux aeterna. Lux perpetua.
Help me rest truly deeply
in the truth of your presence, Lord.
Help me live out the pardon and grace
and hope
and love
that was beaten and nailed to a cross.
Help me now and forever
crawl through
all the endings
all the thorns and spears
all the doubt and darkness
all the self-centered lamentations
out of the depths
de profundis
and toward the light
of resurrection.
8 Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
     for I have put my trust in you.

Psalm 102, Psalm 130, Psalm 143

Linda Miller Raff

© 3.17.2015


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