Home » »Unlabelled » Orchestrating Good and Beautiful #JourneyLent
Thursday, March 19, 2015
“We are confident that God is able to orchestrate everything to work toward something good and beautiful when we love Him and accept His invitation to live according to His plan.” Romans 8:28
This sounds easy doesn’t it?
An A+B=C kind of equation.
Love God + Live His plan = God orchestrates good and beautiful.
Well, roughly 11-12 years ago I wasn’t confident that this was the equation for my life. My husband, Trey, and I had been trying to get pregnant and it wasn’t happening. It wasn’t happening for 2 years on our own. It wasn’t happening for the 2 years after that either, despite fertility treatments, although our doctors said “there is no reason you SHOULDN’T get pregnant.”
Great! Except that I wasn’t – again and again and again.
In my journey toward motherhood, despite having WAY more control over the process through fertility treatments than the average “fertile myrtle,” there was still this lack of control, this great mystery as to why things weren’t working toward good and beautiful and baby – there was God.
The great mystery was God.
And I was impatient with God. God was still pulling the strings, controlling my life like a puppet, or at least this was the way the images became etched in my mind. “It’s all in God’s plan” was the last thing I wanted to hear from anyone.
I knew God was supposed to be the one in charge here, the one to fulfill the desire of my heart because I had always been God’s faithful follower as long as I could recall, or so I thought at least. Surely I had done something or NOT done something to please God and this was my punishment. God was just not pleased enough with me to
give me good and beautiful.
I wasn’t getting what I wanted out of the equation mentioned above; I wasn’t getting my part of the deal. Although I wasn’t able to see it at the time, God was still there with me, orchestrating everything to be good and beautiful.
Thankfully, our friends and family truly carried us through this time in our lives when we couldn’t walk this journey on our own. God had been orchestrating that good and beautiful for years before we had started the journey towards parenthood. I learned just how much my friends themselves would orchestrate for me in order to show their support for me in my journey toward motherhood and just how far I could melt into their nurturing arms no matter where we were when we suffered yet another disappointment. I learned the true devotion of a friend, who at the time was my supervisor as well, when she left work to sit with Trey as he waited for me to undergo emergency surgery to repair internal bleeding and damage done by a tubal pregnancy. I learned even more so how true my husband’s love for me was when my friend saw how scared he was that he might lose me as they wheeled me back for this surgery.
All good and beautiful.
All essential to the journey.
Fast forward to 2007, 2011, and 2014 and our journey toward parenthood has had a happier ending than we ever would have believed at the beginning of it – actually, three good and beautiful, happy endings all gifted to us without medical intervention.
In your own journey, through Lent or through life, are you confident that God is orchestrating good and beautiful to get you to the Easter Morning of your journey? Are you patient or impatient? What are the moments that your confidence is shaken?